Novels and Hopes

By AC

Apr

Okay, so I’ve been thinking more about getting my hopes up–thanks for the support Miss Ming!–and about writing, and how the two play into each other.

I’m in the middle (and trying, trying to draw it out) of CONSPIRACY OF KINGS by Megan Whalen Turner. Now, MWT is an absolute master of twisty plots–Eugenides, one of her main characters, is a master of sleight of hand, and the whole novel becomes something like an elaborate hoax on the reader. Which I LOVE, of course.

So I’m in the middle of a particularly rough part where I feel like the main character is about to get royally screwed over (literally, actually), and there’s this whine that is coming into my head like a devil on my shoulder: “come on, read faster, you KNOW it all works out in the end.”

And THERE’s the rub. I mean, on the one hand, I’m a writer and a total optimist for my characters. I’m going to put them through utter hell and torture (and that’s literally in the case of Scarlet–not the hell, but definitely the torture) but dammit, they are going to get their well deserved happily ever after.

In the young adult world, if you put up with total crap with pluck and a smile, you’ll earn yourself a happy ending. If you cave, you’re probably going to end up in an unhappy marriage or as a scullery maid or something.

Not that some scullery maids don’t go on to be happily ended heroines. Because they do. Check out THE LITTLE PRINCESS for reference.

But then again, the happy ending and triumph of that happy ending only works out because both the reader and the character believe it’s never going to happen.

So should I go with authorial instincts and convince myself that it’s going to work out in the end, no matter what obstacles I face?

Or should I go with reader and character instincts and get so deeply engrossed in the moment that I can’t even fathom how it’s going to work out–leaving me shocked or shattered depending on how it all unfolds?

Well, I’ll be honest, I’m more of a throes-of-the-moment kind of girl, mostly because it comes with highly saturated emotion, drama, and the occasional bout of total mope-age. I love a good mope.

So….that resolves nothing.

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Scarlet’s on Authonomy

By AC

Jan

Okay, so for all of those people who don’t really get to read my work and would like to (especially to my facebook friends!) SCARLET, my newest novel, is up on Authonomy, a “virtual slush pile” run by Harper Collins–essentially it’s a popularity contest that could lead to an editor’s desk. Now, I’ve entered these sorts of things before and while I’m not too cocky about my ability to land on the editor’s desk, it is a chance to give other people a look at Scarlet. So I hope you like it, I’m madly in love with this quirky little novel.

Enjoy (description below), leave comments and tell your friends; who knows, maybe I’m popular enough!

Scarlet

AC Gaughen

History forgot that Will Scarlet, Robin Hood’s famous thief, is a girl. And that’s not the only secret she’s hiding.

Scarlet is a retelling of the Robin Hood legend from the point of view of Scarlet, a young thief from London that Robin’s brought into his small band of fighters. Her friends know the truth, but most of the townspeople don’t want to see that Scarlet isn’t the Will Scarlet that history will come to remember, but just Scarlet, a girl with scars and strange eyes that tries to stay as invisible as possible.

But Guy of Gisbourne, the thief taker from London that know’s Scarlet’s secrets, won’t let her stay invisible as he begins targeting the people of Nottinghamshire, trying to get to Robin Hood, the thief he’s been hired to hang. Scarlet has to decide how much the people of Nottinghamshire mean to her–not to mention how she feels about John Little, the brawny blacksmith that lost his family to the Sheriff’s cruelty, or Robin himself, a legend even in his own time.

It’s young adult novel of 55,000 words told in first person, offering a personal and completely unique perspective on one of history’s favorite stories.

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Jinxes?

By AC

Dec

So something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is “jinxing it”. Fall is always a potential-laden time for me; I send out applications, I tend to have better luck and a greater sense of excitement, and this fall is no different. I’ve been sending out applications for fellowships that I don’t want to talk to anyone about and I’ve been getting some positive responses from agents, but I’m not mentioning it to anyone (except, you know, on the blog…out on the web….).

So whats up with that? I have a few theories:

1. Older, Wiser, More Hesitant?

I look back, and a year ago I was getting the first serious interest from agents on Tarian, and I was over the moon, thinking it was going to be so fast and so easy and then it just dissolved (actually that one dissolved in the worst possible way, with the agent telling me over and over how excited he was about the novel, and then he said that he’d get in touch with me after the weekend, and the day before Christmas Eve he told me he was passing). And since then, I’ve worked with an agent on revisions, and she passed, and other agents have been almost there and passed. It’s gutwrenching to know how close you can get before they pass. It’s the worst part. So yes, I’m hesitant to put my emotion into it.

2. There’s a recession.

Which shouldn’t matter to luck, but it does, because like it or not, in a very visceral way we’ve all been reminded how things really might not work out. Luck seems to be turning sour a lot faster these days. Besides which, everyone else has tough luck, so a) it’s tough to believe you’ll have better luck, or b) that you should even be talking about it because it’s got an element of cruelty to it.

3. Superstition is back with a vengeance.

I don’t know whether its the cultural prevalence of supernatural elements being all over the place (vampires, werewolves) but I knock on wood, I beware black cats, I look for heads up pennies. And part of me remembers that whole, “don’t talk about it or it won’t come true” superstition.

So, if anyone has either magical charms to counteract jinxes, or words of wisdom to remind me how silly superstitions can be, I’d love to hear either.

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Jobs, Luck, and Positivity

By AC

Oct

You know, it’s like Pretty Woman says: “The bad stuff is easier to believe”. But here’s what I want to know: who EVER told you life was going to be easy? And if there’s one thing that’s worth fighting for, it’s your divine right to see the world as happier, shinier, and generally more positive than it really is. It’s why we smile at strangers and why we sometimes just have to laugh (even if it is to keep from crying). Yeah, a recession isn’t the easiest time to be positive, but it’s also the most necessary time to be positive.

So, tomorrow I have an interview. If you don’t know me, I do lots of interviews (well, not lots, but I apply for an obscene amount of jobs/positions), I like to throw lots of pasta against the wall to see what sticks. I’m pretty excited about this one tomorrow; it’s a direction I could definitely go in (going back into full time retail) and it’s right by my house. I realize that retail probably isn’t what everyone reading this blog thinks that I want to be doing with my time (heyyy…isn’t this blog about writing…) but actually, I’m fed up with freelance writing to the point that I don’t want to do it full time. I want a regular job! I want to see people everyday! I want PAID VACATION! And I can’t say how long I’ll want that for, but right now, this is what I want. And that’s ok!

But of course, absolutely none of that means that I’ll get it! That’s the part that comes down to luck. So here I go, ready to be positive, and crossing my fingers. Wish me luck!

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Let’s See How Far We’ve Come

By AC

Aug

I’m turning 25 in November, and while that is a good deal away, this milestone has been bearing down on me for the past six months, and not because I give a damn about getting older, but I feel like I haven’t accomplished much, which leads me wonder if I’ve wasted time–my ultimate antigoal (is antigoal a word? It so should be). I’m in a long delayed, drawn out field for the sheer love of it, and it’s not like I’m earning much money or advancing quickly in the ranks. I don’t have a significant relationship or a child.

Last night, I was looking for something to thumb through while I went to bed, and amidst sloping piles of notebooks that I’ve been trying to organize (unsuccessfully; I’ve accepted that my life tilts toward chaos in books), I found my senior thesis (we called it a dissertation in the UK, but American’s would call it a thesis). It was a creative writing project, and I wrote a short story called “The Tournament”. I loved it. And I loved reading it again. In the back I had to write an explanatory essay and I remembered the whole process, beginning to end, and I loved it. Something that I struck on in the essay was that this thesis was the culmination of my undergraduate career because it was the beginning of my professional career; this was my life long passion, this was my purpose.

At the time, it was a revelation. I never thought that I could make money as a writer and I knew I was choosing something against the grain and unpopular, but I wanted it more than anything, and I became (slowly) convinced that I had no business doing anything else other than writing. So this thesis was like my statement of purpose, my chosen path for the rest of my life.

For better or for worse (really, at the moment, it’s looking toward worse) I’m in this industry. I’m not published but I don’t have much of a choice; I know what I want and I don’t have it in me to give it up now. That’s not what I’m made of. And somehow I think that girl two years ago would be thrilled to know that, even if she was aware that (contrary to her staunch beliefs) she wouldn’t be published yet.

It makes me wonder if the real success here is simply not giving up. Of course, that’s not the success I want–I will always aspire for more. I found something that I love (an extraordinary stroke of luck in and of itself) and I’ve had the (occasionally shaky) resources to follow that. I’ve had the determination to follow that. Even if it’s not the best of circumstances, I’m Tim Gunn-ing it. I’m making it work. I think there’s a purity of purpose now that I won’t always have, and for the moment, I’m appreciating it.

This could all also be because it finally feels like the heat broke a little, and the morning was chilly and cool. Which means FALL IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!

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