I’m part of the Panera Nation (the number of people that, most likely because they’re unemployed, go to coffee shops and cafes to sponge off the free refill coffee and free wireless internet), but unlike most, I’m usually there on saturdays (my writing day).  Usually there are a few people there in the morning, and by noon they burn off, with maybe one other writer sticking around.  I generally find the people there pretty friendly.  I’m not one of the people who wants to build up a super rapport with those around me, but I smile and make situation-necessary comments with my fellow laptoppers.  So imagine my surprise when I read this article.

Twice in the past two weeks I’ve gone during the week, which I haven’t really done in the past year, and my, have things changed.  First of all, there are TONS of people there with laptops.  Tons.  Which does make for tight competition for socket space, yes, but shouldn’t mean that we let common courtesy and camaraderie of people who are equally freeloading fall by the wayside.  Today I asked a woman if she could plug in my cord (which was long enough to not impinge her experience in any way) and she didn’t look up, just said “FINE”, shot her hand up over her head (I was holding the cord by her opposite elbow) and slammed it into the socket.  Geez.

So here’s my Panera Code of Conduct:

1.  Buy stuff. Seriously, go to the library if you don’t want to buy any food.  You can’t sit there all day and do nothing but drink free refills.  Buy a legitimate meal per every meal time you’re there.  Aside from that, it throws off the bad vibes from management.  I don’t think they really like laptoppers.

2.  Smile at your fellows. All you need is a smile, maybe a nod, possibly a secret handshake if you feel up to it.  This is not your private office, you’re out and about in society.  I don’t encourage smalltalk–I don’t like to be unnecessarily spoken to either–but is a smile so hard?

3.  Share the socket.  Come on, that’s the cardinal rule.  We all know there are like six sockets–TOPS–in any given Panera, and of them only like two are beside any kind of decent seating.  If you sit beside the socket, you should be OFFERING to share it with others.

4. Get to work! Hehehe.  Okay, that’s more of a note to self.  Later, gator.

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